(You can tell this was a spontaneous, candid thing… the grammar is abismal!…)
How is it that the soul may at once be such a curious mixture of longing, disappointment, and amazing, fulfilling pleasure? I think, whatever it is I long for, that I search in mad desperation for among any and every relationship in my life– you might say, it must be longing for heaven; and I think, actually, that is exactly right. It is, I do believe, a yearning for the ultimate, boundless fellowship that I think must be the essence of heaven– oneness with God, oneness with the body of Christ. Not just an eternity to go around “hanging out” with all the people on my list; I think, really, every moment must be eternity– and it must be that fellowship– relationship– LOVE is the essence of every moment. Perfect, complete, two-are-one love: between Christ and me, and me and all the saints. I don’t know how things will “happen” outside the bounds of time and space; but I think this is my deep heart-longing– in tiny measure fulfilled in friends and loved ones, in greater yet incomplete measure in my flesh-bound fellowship with God– to KNOW, to BE ONE WITH, to LOVE as do the Father and Son.